Ed Sheeran is too rich for us.

Tonight I had an amazing conversation with some friends of mine via text. Here’s how it went…

Me: Umm..If you guys aren’t aware I’m currently on a weird obsession of Ed Sheeran. I just saw he’s going to be on tour near here, two different places! Anyone want to come with me?

Jean: Haha, possibly! When???

Marsha: When?

Ricki: LOL

Mandy: Maybe. When? Also depends on ticket cost.

Mrs. Question: I’ll go!

*insert photo of tour dates here showing when and where options*

Me: I’m currently concerned that they might all be sold out. Either that or Ticketmaster and I are not getting along *very distressed crying emoji face*

Marsha: I see them for sale at one venue starting at $170 *insert emoji face that just got a surprise finger up the bum*

Me: I see I’ll have to murder whoever did this to me and ruined my life…

Marsha: The other is starting at $140. Ed may be too rich for my blood, love.

Me: It’s cause he’s a talented ginger unicorn!!!

Marsha: *insert laughter face*

Jean: Eek-I can’t believe he sold out already…its 4 months away!!!

Mrs. Question: Mrs. Question slowly backs away…

Me: Someone start me a go fund me!

Marsha: It’s not sold out on the venue websites. They are just expensive.

Mandy: Yeah……..I don’t think that’s going to happen but hey if I win the Publisher’s Clearinghouse sweepstakes on 6/30, I’ll buy him and we can have our own personal show! *insert proud of herself smiling emoji*

Marsha: “I’ll buy him” *insert hysterical Dawson’s Creek-Dawson’s-ugly-cry laughter face*

Me: I like this idea Mandy! Buy that ginger unicorn for our own “personal” use.

Jean: Ah, gotcha, I thought those were stub hub prices!! Dang! Hahaha!

Mandy: I’ll clap my hands and say “Sing boy! NOW!”

Me: We can use him as our personal cabana boy for the next pool book club meeting. And as personal troubadour for the day.

Marsha: Not to burst y’all’s bubble but I don’t think Publisher’s Clearinghouse is going to get you enough money to buy him. If his ticket sales are any indication, boy is worth $$$$$$

Mandy: We’ll definitely have to buy him loads of sunscreen though.

Me: But we can use the money to buy all the legos in the world. That will get him here.

Me: Okay…1/2 the money on legos and 1/2 the money on sunscreen. This will definitely work!

Marsha: Lure him, maybe. Purchase him, I don’t think so.

Me: We don’t believe in slavery. We shall be fair. We’ll lure him like child molesters.

Mandy: I’ll have to think on a plan but the money will definitely come in handy…..we may need handcuffs, chloroform, and a gag!

Me: Yeah, for me if it were to actually happen! *insert I just watched a really funny cat video laughing face*

Marsha: Guys, you could probably just pay for a performance. No law breaking necessary.

Me: Ooh and we can all gather our cats. Legos and cats?!?! He’ll never be able to resist our van!

Me: Marcia, stop being such a mom! *insert stubborn child sticks out it’s tongue face* We will have no common sense in this conversation!

Marsha: You going to borrow Tandy’s van? He does have sound proofing (for some reason).

Me: Lololololol Tandy has been planning this for us for months without knowing!!! Welcome back Marcia! Ha!


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