DnD Game Review

Rollin’ like Wheaton…..

The second session of our DND campaign…..

The journey continued. This time with the Dragonkin Cleric, Half-Elf Fighter, Elf Druid, and Gwenhwyver the Druid’s trusty baby black panther companion.

We started with our DM offering up a little fast forward. We could gain some followers for Bast and skip a head just a little to make the game pick up some. All we had to do was roll a D20 and get a 10 or higher. Easy right? Well we rolled the beautiful all natural 1. So no skipping ahead for us.  We started right where we left off. Talking to Jonto and Canto. Greg, the DM, needs to get a little more creative with names and scenarios.

Canto told us he could give us a pre-made non-large building in the Arena Precinct if we did a little adventurous murdering for him. There was an arcane spell caster named Be’lzar that was interrupting their traveling/trading business. He was on a main road hold up in a Fort. Fort Glamis. Sounds fancy right? Nope…It was a giant sand castle in shape. More on that later. We of course agreed because a pre-made building to use as our temple for Bast was just too easy.

We started our journey but shortly after, we stopped at a tavern. We had a few drinks and the DM, Greg, told us if we could roll high we could gain Bast some followers. Oh god, please don’t Wil Wheaton this roll………YES!!! Out of the three of us, two rolled glorious 20s! We gained several followers. After all this follower gathering and drinking we were tired. We traveled for a bit longer but stopped in the woods to sleep. We found a giant tree to snuggle with and set Gwenhwyver to guard over us while we slept. Or tried to….Gwenhwyver ended up waking us up because she sensed something. She was looking over into the darkness and was clearly concerned that something was there. The Dragonkin Cleric flew up 20 ft and didn’t see anything. The Druid cast a light spell on Gwenhwyver and sent her 50 ft in the direction of whatever it was. This was a risky move for poor Gwenhwyver but we thought the panther could handle herself. Unfortunately, Gwenhwyver saw nothing. The Druid then moved 30 ft closer to the spot and the Panther. The Fighter then moved 30ft to join the Druid and Panther. As soon as this last move was done the earth started shaking under our feet. Out of the earth burst a giant cobra-worm creature with our DM’s Face. Tremor’s anyone? After we finished discussing the movie Tremors for a brief moment (mostly this was me to myself) the monster started its attack. Earthworm Greg went after Gwenhwyver but thankfully missed. The Cleric then flew closer still remaining 20 ft up off the ground. The Druid held her action until after the Fighter went. The Fighter made a hit with her great sword for 8 damage. There was a natural 20 but was confirm with a natural 1. (Darn Wheaton curse!!!) Then before the Druid could strike the monster jumped into the air and dived back into the sand. Beetlejuice worm style.

We continued our mission and came to a fort. Fort Glamis. When Greg showed us his drawing of Fort Glamis…It was a sandcastle. He was pretty proud of it. I don’t know why. The main door seemed to be 15 ft off the ground. There were doors all along the bottom but they appeared to be bricked up. When we started approaching the structure the sand was changing. It went from normal sand to burnt sand with vein like things coming from the fort. The veins were pulsing as they were draining the Earth of power. When we get about 60ft from the fort a Chimera appears before us. It’s a little odd though as we realize we don’t really hear it making it sounds and we’re pretty certain it sees us. So we roll a perception check. The Druid rolls a 20 and is all “Uh, it’s legs look weird. This is an illusion.” Trusting that, we just walk up to it and yeah, it’s an illusion. Poof! it’s gone.

Once we get right up on the Fort’s lower level where all the doors are bricked up we do a Detect Magic spell and detect magic! Big shocker right? The Cleric flies up to the door that’s higher up and she sees stairs going down to the lower level. Interesting. That’s when we discover the bricks on the lower level are an illusion. OMG. This freaking arcane spell caster is killing the Earth for stupid illusions? Like not even good ones. If I’m killing the earth then my illusions would be Sam Heughan, David Tennant, Ed Sheeran, and James Corden. Not brick doors and a freaking beat down looking Chimera! Just saying….priorities, come on! Not to mention I would then have a Scottish highlander, a timelord, a beautifully talented bard, and a jester at my disposal. I would be a pretty baddass arcane spell caster in a fort. Good luck. I’d also call my fort Fort Uterus. I’d invite people in once a month and then murder them all for the monthly purge/sacrifice to my God. LET THERE BE BLOOD!!!!

Sorry got a little off topic…Okay, so the bricks were an illusion so we enter the fort. There are stairs leading up to the door on the outside. Nothing else in here. So we go up the stairs and are on the outside. There is a spiral walkway around this sandcastle fort leading to the top. We start walking up to the top and that’s when the Cleric realizes there is tiger behind us. LOL…sure there is. We test it…yeah, this one is real. It’s too lame of a monster in DND to be fake right? Because our DM doesn’t have a Tiger mini and who would? He puts out a flaming ball thing and also adds that the tiger is surrounded by flames. A flaming tiger. That’s Grrrrrrreat! We roll initiative. Druid-20, Cleric-14, Fighter-17, and Tiger-24. OF COURSE. The tiger attacks the Cleric and hits twice. The freaking Cleric only has 3 HPs left. The Druid hits it but not enough to matter. The Fighter also hits it. The Druid and Fighter then run 30 ft. The Cleric goes airborne and lands on top of the fort with Gwenhwyver, the panther. The Fighter and Druid are almost to the top when the tiger attacks the Fighter. Crap!! The Fighter only has 5 HPs left.  The Druid and Fighter both failed to hit the tiger but did manage to get up to the top of the fort and hopefully to safety.

Once we are all up on the top of the fort the Arcane Spell Caster appears.  Just in time for him to shout “Have fun with the cat”, flip some sort of tokken in the air, and jump off the side of the fort.

The tiger rushes in. It attacks the fighter. Noooooooooooooooooooooo! The Cleric casts a spell of Compel Hostility. Nice save! Thank the good lord Bast for the Cleric! Since she’s in the air and safe from the tiger, we’ll have time to kill this thing without it killing us. It only has eyes for the virgin Cleric now. We start slowly chipping away the tiger’s HPs. Then during the tiger’s turn it attempts to jump up at the Cleric. Rolls a 20! *Que Reading Rainbow song* “Cleric up in the sky…I can fly twice as high….” The tiger jumps up 7ft. We laughed. Druid attacked the tiger and missed for the 900th time. The Fighter used her great sword and sliced up the tiger a bit. Then the Cleric rolled a 20 and murdered the crap outta that tiger using Bast claws as her weapon.

We ran to the edge of the fort to see where the arcane spell caster was. He was running north and vanished very quickly. We don’t know what he did to vanish but he vanished. LOL. Clear as mud, right? Yeah, good job Greg.

We are left standing on the top of the fort. Cleric is speaking of burning down the fort to cause chaos and feed Bast. DM Greg whispers “it’s made of stone….”

DM Greg congratulated us cause we just Leveled up! We’re level 2. Moving on up!

Overall it was fun but we definitely didn’t accomplish anything at all. A night filled with illusions and a flaming tiger. DO BETTER GREG!!!!


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